The Swingers Board - View Single Post

BettyAnnMBSC · 06-19-2003, 09:18 AM

I'm 25 and my husband is 40 (41 next month). My step-son is 21. My mom is 55. My dad was much older than my mom, he was 60 when I was born.

So, my husband is 15 years younger than my mom and I am 15 years younger than my husband and my oldest step-kid is 4 years younger than me.... :-)

Generally, I have no problem swinging with (and generally prefer) men who are 35-45 years old. I don't think I've ever been with a couple as old as my mom -- that'd make them 30 years older than me.

An early 40's couple is clearly old enough to have children my age and at least one man did have a daughter older than me. We won't get into the fantasy role playing we did together...

I've found that my limits are very flexible indeed when it comes to age. I will often step outside of my turn on age if I'm attracted to the individual or couple. That said, I have more problem with a younger (19-24) couple than with an older couple. It seems that since my oldest step-son is 21, I view 21 as "a kid" -- even though I was married at that age and didn't think that I was a kid at the time.

There is that things in common issue when there is an age difference but there are other social difference that can cause a greater gap of things in common than age. It seems to me that the only real commonalities issue in an age gap is the selection of music -- my taste in music seems to really annoy the over-40 crowd.

I think that the common ground of sharing sex easily overcomes most differences in age -- so long as some physical attraction remains present. Where I find a greater commonality issue is in socio-economic status or educational differences.

It's hard to share experience with a couple when one is living paycheck-to-paycheck and the other thinks a $50 meal out is just another night out. Similarly, we can't really have a good relationship with a couple that feels I don't need no book learnin'... while we contribute tens-of-thousands to the higher education system and they can't understand why we care about the finer points of modern usage of the word slut. Of course, if it's just a f**k then those differences don't matter either.

Some would say that "age is just a number" -- certainly there are other issues that are as important, if not more important than, age. But, I can see too that age is a marker that many use.

As one who has experienced the age gap first hand -- I'd suggest that we not immediately discount a potential playmate based solely on age; we might miss out on some really wonderful relations. And maybe, you'll find you have more in common than you thought...

I'd caution though --
* older guys who are playing with a younger woman may or may not want to play "daddy" -- that game is a real turn-off for my hubby but I have been with a guy who made a really kinky role-play of it. The same goes for women with younger men -- she probably doesn't want to be "mommy".
* For the ladies that want to play that game, playing "uncle" or "professor" might be emotionally safer...

* Younger folk who are playing with older folk don't necessarily want to play that game either! We younger folk don't want to be talked to like we're kids. We want to be an equal intimate partner.

06-19-2003, 09:18 AM	#3 (permalink)
BettyAnnMBSC Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 261 Location: Myrtle Beach South Carolina Status: F half of bi cpl	I'm 25 and my husband is 40 (41 next month). My step-son is 21. My mom is 55. My dad was much older than my mom, he was 60 when I was born. So, my husband is 15 years younger than my mom and I am 15 years younger than my husband and my oldest step-kid is 4 years younger than me.... :-) Generally, I have no problem swinging with (and generally prefer) men who are 35-45 years old. I don't think I've ever been with a couple as old as my mom -- that'd make them 30 years older than me. An early 40's couple is clearly old enough to have children my age and at least one man did have a daughter older than me. We won't get into the fantasy role playing we did together... I've found that my limits are very flexible indeed when it comes to age. I will often step outside of my turn on age if I'm attracted to the individual or couple. That said, I have more problem with a younger (19-24) couple than with an older couple. It seems that since my oldest step-son is 21, I view 21 as "a kid" -- even though I was married at that age and didn't think that I was a kid at the time. There is that things in common issue when there is an age difference but there are other social difference that can cause a greater gap of things in common than age. It seems to me that the only real commonalities issue in an age gap is the selection of music -- my taste in music seems to really annoy the over-40 crowd. I think that the common ground of sharing sex easily overcomes most differences in age -- so long as some physical attraction remains present. Where I find a greater commonality issue is in socio-economic status or educational differences. It's hard to share experience with a couple when one is living paycheck-to-paycheck and the other thinks a $50 meal out is just another night out. Similarly, we can't really have a good relationship with a couple that feels I don't need no book learnin'... while we contribute tens-of-thousands to the higher education system and they can't understand why we care about the finer points of modern usage of the word slut. Of course, if it's just a fk then those differences don't matter either. Some would say that "age is just a number" -- certainly there are other issues that are as important, if not more important than, age. But, I can see too that age is a marker that many use. As one who has experienced the age gap first hand -- I'd suggest that we not immediately discount a potential playmate based solely on age; we might miss out on some really wonderful relations. And maybe, you'll find you have more in common than you thought... I'd caution though -- * older guys who are playing with a younger woman may or may not want to play "daddy" -- that game is a real turn-off for my hubby but I have been with a guy who made a really kinky role-play of it. The same goes for women with younger men -- she probably doesn't want to be "mommy". * For the ladies that want to play that game, playing "uncle" or "professor" might be emotionally safer... * Younger folk who are playing with older folk don't necessarily want to play that game either! We younger folk don't want to be talked to like we're kids. We want to be an equal intimate partner.