I think there has been a few threads similar in nature to this one but always a good subject.
Four out of the last five couples we have been with ALL had problems with erections. Funny enough, three of those four all stated at sometime during the night that "they don't NEED ED drugs ...." umm, okay, whatever, keep telling yourself that guys.
There is a lot of pressure on you the first time you meet a couple. The second time, less, the third time even less but for me, and obviously others, the distractions are overwhelming it seems. An ounce of prevention as the old saying goes .... Get over your pride and get some Cialis. Why is this such a problem with some guys?
My wife and I think there are a lot of wives that need clitoral stimulation in order to reach an orgasm and that requires a partner that cares for more than just his own satisfaction. My wife only reaches it from oral sex and with very few exceptions. Then, it still takes at least about 10 minutes if she is very sexually charged with an average of 15 - 20 minutes.
We try to find couples that are proud of their 'oral' abilities. At least if they can't get it up, they can still get her off
Are you looking for regular swing couples or are these mostly one night stands. We try to find couples that we can build up a little intimacy with so they 'learn' what she needs.
Good luck because we know how frustrating it is.