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Originally Posted by Chicup  For me poly would be an near equal love, otherwise is just being really good friends. |
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Originally Posted by Chicup Generally I see poly as talked about and practiced as a lie. |
I think to really answer this question, Poly needs a solid definition. Poly is a catchall for anything outside of general swinging. Chicup, I have to say that I and my wife are on the fence on this idea, but your last quote there was borderline offense to me. I am not offended, of course, as these are the internetz and Lord knows I have heard and seen far far worse.
My definition of the poly relationship is where both a strong emotional and sexual bond occurs in at least one person with multiple partners in full consent and knowledge of partners at the same time. Sometimes poly will be of a group where all have a strong emotional and sexual bond with each other, and some are polygynous or polyandrous where many individuals have a strong sexual and emotional bond to one person, but only an emotional bond between each other. In any case the bonding between all forms a family.
No such group is setup w/o a pecking order, though. The ideal might be near equal love, but the reality is, this is not possible for multiple reasons. 1) we are not all the same, therefore the love one would have for the other is dependent on how we mesh and this is unique to each relationship -AND- 2) Sorry, but groups naturally fall into alphas, betas, on down to omegas. Humans organize themselves that way naturally in any situation. Therefore I would think that equal love would fail to actually occur.
Of the poly relationships I have seen work (one triad, one couple/couple), they definitely were a "family" in both cases, but there was a pecking order. I think this would be poly, as they supported one another, spent most of their times together, etc etc.
I just don't think its possible to extend the ideals a one on one relationship into a group ideal. There is an order of pecking, and I think that would imply that the love cannot be equal and never can be completely achieved.
What do I know, though. I have never actually participated in such a relationship. This ideal does intrigue my wife and I, though.