[couplers]

Hi, this is Petra. Although I dislike the poly label, I will admit that I am in a poly relationship but hubby is not. The relationship with my boyfriend, Red, began when I was a virgin and continues to this day. Red and I did come close to getting married but I moved out when I realized that the day-to-day wouldn't work. Red is not into drugs or anything even slightly seemy, but he is a musician/artist and his life is more up and down than I could see in a marriage. We don't all live together, but I am with him four or five times a week and sometimes the three of us vacation together. Red is devoted to me and is not seeing or screwing anyone else. David, my now husband, knew all along about the relationship and loves me so much he said that if it made me happy, he had no problem with it continuing, no reciprocity expected. David is attractive, successful, Vanilla, and could attract any woman he wanted, so I was both flattered and somewhat bewildered. In addition David gave me the security of being a conventional professional man. It was the high point of my life when we got married. Having a loving relationship with two guys has gone more smoothly than I would have imagined possible.

For the first couple of years of marriage David was monogamous (at my urging), then began several serial, no-emotion sexual relationships with other women (also at my urging). Thinking about, seeing and occasionally participating in my husband's sexual adventures is the non-poly, swinging side of my life. The three of us don't drink, smoke, gamble, or do drugs but we crave sex. The arrangement is highly asymmetric, but also very satisfying and very stable.