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Originally Posted by sealovers  ing some rough time we had some months ago, some day, after sex, we discussed about swinging again and she said that maybe this would be a good way to test our relationship, our feelings. I thought and still think that this is a very wrong way to test a relationship. Later she agreed with this. Since then, our relationship changed very much for the good but I'm still not ready to plunge into this. |
You're doing the right thing posting here. You guys really dodged a bullet in figuring the above bit out. Testing relationships is bad. Coming to a deep understanding of (and respect for) each others feelings and a place of total honesty is good. Testing pretty much always backfires and causes a lot of trouble. THIS kind of test is one you do NOT want to screw up
So good job in slowing down! In our past we played a lot of games and did a lot of testing and its really only the foundation strength of the tie we have that kept us from killing each other before we came to that "diamond" state.
Try to get her to read here as well (or at least discuss the things you read here). There is a huge range of experience on the forums in all aspects of this.
The jealousy you're feeling isnt abnormal at all. It's actually extremely normal. Whether or not you can overcome it is an unknown. And there is no "right" answer. There is nothing wrong with you if this isnt cut out for you and there is nothing wrong with you if it is.
I think I understand your mindset when you lied and said you would want a threesome with two girls. I feel that was a kind of reflexive defense mechanism. It's really not a "bad" lie.
I think you should come right out and talk to her. You need to both know that you are both happy and satisfied in your relationship. You need to create a safe zone so she can be completely honest without fear of reprisal. She needs to provide the same.
As it stands now, you both share the same fantasy really (her with two guys). Making it really simple (its not a simple thing, but the basic outcome is)... You want to give her her fantasy, but you want to know that you're "safe" in doing that. Its really that easy.