Quote:
Originally Posted by red96  We have kept it pretty simple so we don't forget our own rules!   |
Yes, and this gets more important the older you get...
For new people, I think rules are a really good thing. They provide a structure upon which to hang discussions about things they have never really even thought about before! They function as a beginning point for exploring BOTH what they want, and also personal boundaries and it may be the first time they have ever outlined the boundaries of their relationship in any serious specific ways.
I think as people gain experience, unless they are not emotionally ready yet, or are total control freaks, or just too immature, the list of rules gets distilled down into more fundamental forms. As the initiated experience the epiphany of honest communication with others about desires and wants, lists of rules morph into a few preferences which may even be dynamic but that are communicated about directly, naturally, organically and even playfully as a part of meeting people.
For me, beginners with no or too few rules are a red flag.
But 'experienced' people with a laundry list of rules are a red flag too, "Where there be long lists of rules, there be drama!"