Quote:
Originally Posted by driveajeepnaked  Will a person do something with a playmate that they won't think of doing with their own spouse?? Even if the spouse would like it? Peer pressure?
Val |
I think this is really odd, because if I'm comfortable doing something with someone else, I'm probably more comfortable doing it with my wife. I would also think if he is willing to go down on the other woman, but not his wife; I'm thinking it may cause problems between him and his wife to say the least. But remaining open, intuitively it could be several reasons, but three come to mind. Three reasons could have caused him to do something not normally done for his spouse:
1. As you said peer pressure. Just like any situation, Vanilla or Neopolitan, some people just are looking to be accepted and try to do what's expected. I think what our parental units said sometimes about, "if they jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff," sometimes needs to be said in all settings, vanilla or not.
This is especially true in swinging, because you as a person and as a couple have to do what you're comfortable with, and not try to live up to everyone elses expectations. So in swinging, the old addage quoted above would probably read something to the affect of, "If they screwed a goat, would you screw a goat", and you have to be ready to draw the line at screwing goats.
Obviously the goat is an extreme metaphor, but whatever your goat is you have to be willing to just be laid back and speak up or just not participate when it appears that the expectation is something you are uncomfortable with. It's not always easy in the heat of the moment, but no one is forcing any of us to do anything.
2. His wife may not normally let him go down her, because it may not do much for her (even though from my experiece women who don't get much from oral is few and far between). Even though she may not enjoy it much, she may not have wanted to stop the other guy due to not wanting to push him away all together. The possibility of him wanting to go down on a woman and her possibly not wanting oral sex and not speaking up creates a situation. This situation (if the case) definitily lends itself to this occuring.
3. It could be the heat of the moment. He could have suppressed fantasies about going down on a woman, and he never felt comfortable going down on any woman or expressing himself to his wife. In our society sometimes people suppress desires for years out of the irrational fear of rejection. So the setting may have been just right for him to act on it.
Thats my 2 cents......