1curiouscat, my wife and I started out in full swapping with MFM threesomes too. We'd had soft swaps with couples before, but our first venture into full swap was with an MFM threesome.
We'd spent oodles of time talking, and going over ground we'd been over multiple times. It wasn't burdensome..it helped us get to a comfy spot before it happened. We'd done as you were suggested and have done, pointing out guys she'd be interested in, etc. We found that any guy she found acceptable (well, at least on looks) I found acceptable too. So, that made it easier for selection; if she likes him, I'll like him.
We eventually got to the point where we felt there weren't any more questions that could be answered without her actually having sex with someone else while I was there. The lucky 3rd was a person I found on Swing Lifestyle. We met up, things clicked, and off we went to play. The foreplay was great, my wife loving every minute of it, and after quite a while of that she had sex with him. She enjoyed it. He wasn't the best sex partner she'd ever had, but he was good.
My wife and I, in discussing swinging before actually doing it, agreed that if we had neutral experiences at first that we'd keep at it for a while. If it stayed neutral, we'd probably give up on it. If negative, we'd give up on it sooner. We both thought that the first time probably won't be the best. There's nervousness and more that can be in the way. This turned out to be true. She enjoyed her first encounter, but it wasn't the best. But, it was good and good enough to keep trying.
The next time she had sex with another was again in an MFM and she LOVED It. She couldn't get enough of sex with him. He was a great lover and she had a fantastic time. She had sex with him on several more occasions.
Starting out this way was good for us. It allowed my wife, who was more reticent about swinging than I, to dip her foot in the pool (and eventually her whole body
) without being distracted by me having sex with someone else. It was all good. As we progressed in swinging, starting out this way really helped us.
Your mileage may vary, but it worked for us.