[isikar]

First of all, thanks for all the responses. I figure I've got one shot at this so I want to make sure I follow the right path.

I do want to address a couple of things:

1)its difficult when asking a delicate question to a group of strangers to decide how much information should be included. I probably cut as much from my first post as I left.

2)swinging is a interest to me, not an obsession. To assuage Slevin's concerns, I'll not force anyone to do anything, especially not my wife. I'll not promise to never revisit the issue: life changes, kids go to college, etc., so if the wind seems to be blowing that way I may set sail.

3)I tend to use the terms fantasy and visualize as synonyms. This is not correct. I don't know if I ever really fantasize. I might define a fantasy as something you would probably never do in real life, while visualization is seeing yourself in a situation that could be real. My wife tends to actually fantasize about situations that cannot become real. So there is a disconnect there because I don't visualize something that cannot become real. To me I don't see the point in visualizing a threesome if you don't want to actually do it. I understand that I may be alone in that viewpoint and that my wife does not share it.

Anyway, thanks again for your helpfulness.