[cplnuswing]

It sounds like you are on the right track, and it is something that you both have at least enough interest in / lack of objection to so that you were able to have a good open discussion about it, which is a prerequisite now and continues to be so even in the future if you do end up swinging. No matter how successful it has been up to that point, if the communication stops, there will likely be a problem.

Originally Posted by isikar

I though about it long and hard before I decided to bring it up with my wife.

It's also good that you thought about it and did some research before even bringing it up, assuming that your motivation was to have a good grasp of the reality of the subject to help answer the inevitable questions that would come up with good solid information when you had your conversation. You've found a great source of that here, so you both may enjoy spending some time reading through the forums.

Originally Posted by isikar

She has know for some time that I fantasize about a threesome and it OK with it, so I mentioned that it was not that far a jump from threesome to foursome to moresome.

I'd be careful here. Her knowing you have a fantasy, and her coming to believe that you want the fantasy to become reality so bad that it stands to cause harm to the relationship you have with each other, may become a problem that gets in the way of continuing to have open communication about the subject. I'd also be concerned if I were her that you are making a pretty big jump from your threesome fantasy to all of a sudden talking about moresomes. What's she interested in? Some folks are just into threesomes, some couple to couple foursome, same room or not, etc, etc. You may be pushing too far, too fast and making some big leaps here. A good bit of advice that you'll read a lot on here is to go at the speed of slowest person, that may be something to keep in mind during your next conversation.

Originally Posted by isikar

She did not object to the idea but I think she has trouble with the transition from fantasy to reality. She stated that she could see swinging in "some exotic location" but had a difficult time visualizing swinging here (Mississippi).

I think that is common for several reasons, one of which is some people just seem to have an easier time "letting go" when they are away from the familiar surroundings and routines of home. Nobody knows you, easier to step outside your normal persona, and so on.

Originally Posted by isikar

The other part of the issue there is that she is concerned that the quality of the menfolk won't live up to her fantasy. This is not that unrealistic a fear.

I tried to paint the image that I fantasize about, which is having a couple or couples that we can be friend with outside of swinging but also enjoy playing with as well. Normal people like us with jobs and kids and flaws, but I don't think I sold it well.

The swinging subset comes from the population at large, so that means all shapes, colors, and sizes. Some good looking, some not so much, some easy to talk to, some not so much, and so on. What makes the chemistry is different for everyone too, so one person's answers won't necessarily match another's.

Maybe a visit to a local swingers club or some meet and greets would be a good idea - no pressure and no expectations, just go to see what the crowd is like and to have a fun evening out together. This would help her too see that swingers do have jobs, kids, mortgages, just like normal people, but when we go out, we just hang around some really cool people and like to have a little more fun than most

Originally Posted by isikar

Her other objection was that she wanted a man who thinks she is the only women in the world for him, and the idea that her man could contemplate having sex with another women was distressing. I handled it this way: I stated that she was the one I loved and adored, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, but that variety is good

That's a common concern and a common response. Both are perfectly legitimate points of view, it's just something that you will have to work through together. But again, the fact that you are even able to have this discussion is a plus, whether it ends up in deciding to swing or not.

Originally Posted by isikar

but for now, I've put the issue of swinging on the back burner and am concentration of fulfilling her desire for expanded sex.

Sounds like a good course of action. Work together to heat up your sex life and improve communication and then see what happens moving at the speed of the slowest person. You really can't go wrong with that, it's pluses all around.

Good luck and please come back to let us know how things turn out.