[isikar]

"how would you feel if your wife told you tomorrow that she loves the fantasy, but never wants to even entertain the idea of making it a reality? How would you handle that?"

Thanks for the quick response.

I would fell disappointed, but not crushed. I would take it as an road block but not the end of the road. I would try to ascertain her objections, if possible. From what I've read, some women won't even discuss the objections.

What I do for a living involves selling, and in selling, you have to learn how to overcome objections. You also have to believe in your product. In this case, I believe wholeheartedly that swinging would be beneficial to our marriage. This is not me just wanting to sleep with other women. I've lurked on boards like these and researched the issue fully. I've read the good and the bad and made a determination that our marriage could handle and benefit from swinging. So to keep the same analogy flowing, the prospect, my wife has indicated that she has objections is not ready to buy. From my part, I have pushed the features of swinging rather than the benefits. To some degree, that's all you can do on the opening conversation.

So how would I handle it? I would accept it for now, but I would also plan a strategy to subtly address her objections and that would put me in a place to casually ask again in 3-6 months.

Its also important to understand the vast changes my wife and I have gone through in the last few year. We used to uber-christians and now we're godless heathens. Yesterday my wife expressed an interest in wicca, which two years ago would have brought the heavens down. We used to have vanilla sex, now we are doing new and exciting things. Six months ago my wife wouldn't touch herself, now she will masturbate with me watching without issue. Point here is that our lives, beliefs, attitudes are changing rapidly. If things were more static I think I would have to make a harder choice. With our horizons constantly expanding, I think the possibility is very much alive.