Sorry in advance for the length of this post. It's late here! This is more a rant and sad sob story than anything. Most of all, we hope that someone has had some kind of similar experience and can pat us on the back and say "it will be ok"
(or will hopefully agree with our main takeaway lesson at the end)
A few months ago we met a really great couple from Swing Lifestyle and played with them a couple of times. We both really dug this couple and, supposedly, the feeling was mutual. We chatted everyday, became Facebook friends, and seemed to be on the way to friends "outside the bedroom" territory.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, they randomly dropped on us that they were taking an indefinite break from swinging. And, by this, it seems that they really meant they were done for good. OK, fine. Both sides had previously communicated a shared concern for truth and no bullshit in dealing with swinging friends. So, when the other couple brought up their break from swinging, I asked them in a couple of gentle different ways, and a couple of different times, to just be honest with us if it was something else either with us or with their own situation. They stuck to the story and were effusive in expressing concern for our feelings about the situation (which, admittedly, were hurt). All I can do is take them at their word, right? I still had a very strong hunch that this was not a true story, though, given the nature of the lady of the couple and a couple of other reasons.
So, here's where the issues for us start. We recognized a particular female half of another couple from Swing Lifestyle who was quite active with the comments on the female half's FB updates/photos. The bummer is that this is a person who we don't care for much for reasons that aren't related to this story. The other couple didn't know our feelings about this person as we didn't discuss any mutual acquaintances or previous/other friends, but I can't speak for if our name might or might not have come up in conversations between them and this other person (considering we put a cert on their profile).
We've noticed the last few days some of the comments back and forth between these two were rather titillating, with one posting (and subsequent comments) in particular alluding to what could only have been some very recent fun. While they deleted their Swing Lifestyle profile, we also noticed the other couple's Swing Lifestyle profile now indicated they were taking a break, too. Things didn't add up. Our guess is they decided to maybe engage in some manner of exclusivity with each other. This is fine; we're not jealous types. We're just types that don't like being BS'ed and left to piece together details on our own.
We're not going to ask people about the stuff they're up to with other folks, and we're not going to confront people with accusations of anything. But, given what we saw on FB, we really have our suspicions. With that said, we eventually decided to just "de-friend" the couple from FB and just be done with it. We don't need the hassle. But it's a real bummer to lose friends we care about. We feel like we were jerked around and told half-truths to. (and it's an entirely separate rant to have people you adore as friends pull this kind of shit) Being able to see their FB didn't help since our suspicions really seem to have been validated (though I admit there could be a slight chance we are wrong).
I guess the biggest lesson we're taking away from this is that we probably don't want swingers on our Facebook friends list anymore. We'd rather not know who someone is "friends" with and we'd rather not see what kind of sultry things are typed back and forth. We are already sort of on the fence about giving and receiving Swing Lifestyle certs and we're also guilty of making assumptions based on the certs we see attached to other profiles. The whole unintentional kissing and telling of being Facebook friends and using Swing Lifestyle certs is sort of...I don't know.
Are we too suspicious? Should we just have deleted them from our FB friends list as soon as they said they were taking a leave? Are we taking it too personally? I guess none of these questions really have clear answers given the nature of this post, but more than anything I just wanted to get it off my chest.
EDIT: Yes, we are also slightly peeved that we may have been dissed by someone we really like for someone that we don't like. I guess it happens, but it still sucks.