[JustAskJulie]

I guess my take on this situation is a little different than what most are seeing. I was holding off posting to see what others said. My initial response is somewhat along the lines of what Chicup said - you aren't ready for this so don't do it.

That said, to answer your question. Yes, I do think you are being controlling.

You said that she had had previous 1 on 1 relationships that you were ok with, BUT you were not ok with the fact that it ended badly and she got hurt, and you were worried about this occurring again, therefore you wanted her to move more slowly in finding a new boy toy. At least that's how I read it. If that is actually the case, then yes you are being too controlling, imo. If you are really ok with her having 1 on 1 playtime with other guys and even having a relationship with another guy. Then let her do it. If you are ok with the guy in question, then what is holding you back? I find your restricting her in seeing this guy on the basis of "it's too soon" or "she might get hurt" rather controlling.

And chances are that's how she sees it too and that is what is causing her reactions. The more you try to make someone do something against their will the more they will push the buttons and try to break free. I feel like by saying yes she could go out with this guy socially but nothing more you are saying "yes you can go to the ice cream store but you can't get any ice cream".

You two need to get on the same page with this. Either you are ok with it and it's just too soon (in your mind) in which case it's not really up to just you. If you are ok with it, you are ok with it. Or you aren't ok with it. If that's the case, that's great, but be honest about it with yourself and with her. If you don't want her seeing guys one on one then be honest. I think that's what Chicup is seeing and reading between the lines I feel like that may be the case. If that is the case, then tell her, don't dangle something out in front of her and say "later" when you don't mean it.