The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Am I being a control-freak?

yourbitterpill · 06-22-2009, 09:51 PM

My apologies for the length of this question....

A bit of background. My wife and I have been swinging for several years now and within the past year or two we've "opened up" our marriage. She's had a lover before (which didn't end well somewhat recently)...

Anyway, recently we got back in touch with a couple we had swung with a few years back. They currently live out of state but they had stopped back here on vacation last month and we had all gone to dinner together. Afterwards, the husband had contacted Mrs. Pill about a possible long-distance relationship and meeting up when he comes back to town (the husband visits here several times a year). Initially, Mrs. Pill asked if that was ok if they discussed the possibility of it and I agreed, so long as they took it slow (she had just recently had a bad experience and "breakup" with her last lover). A few days after this, the husband announced he'd be coming back to town in a week and if they could meet. After the bad experience, I was very hesitant for her to jump right into something else and we had a few heated arguments on the subject. Eventually, Mrs. Pill agreed that it wasn't a good time but asked if they could go out to dinner, just socially and I agreed.

So they went to dinner around 7pm, she called me @ 10 asking if it was ok that they get a drink at a nearby bar, which was fine. Midnight rolled around and I called and asked when she was coming home and she said one more drink. I agreed but was tired and went to sleep, thinking Mrs. Pill would be back within the hour.

Mrs. Pill woke me at 4am. She said they had lost track of time and, after the bar had closed, they returned to his hotel room. She assured me that nothing happened. I was very upset because she didn't call and tell me beforehand where she was going, how long she'd be gone, or that they were going to his private room. I felt very disrespected and told her it was unsafe and put a lot of questions in my mind. What if I had woken up at 2, with no phone call, and didn't know where she was? Eventually, she agreed and we made up.

Fast forward to today. She has the day off work and asked me if they could "meet for lunch". I said no and she's really upset. I just feel like she's sort of "on probation" and that I'm not really certain I can trust her right now....

So am I over-reacting? Expecting too much? Being too harsh?

06-22-2009, 09:51 PM	#1 (permalink)
yourbitterpill Here to Stay Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 41 Location: Chicago, IL Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:yourbitterpill2004	Am I being a control-freak? My apologies for the length of this question.... A bit of background. My wife and I have been swinging for several years now and within the past year or two we've "opened up" our marriage. She's had a lover before (which didn't end well somewhat recently)... Anyway, recently we got back in touch with a couple we had swung with a few years back. They currently live out of state but they had stopped back here on vacation last month and we had all gone to dinner together. Afterwards, the husband had contacted Mrs. Pill about a possible long-distance relationship and meeting up when he comes back to town (the husband visits here several times a year). Initially, Mrs. Pill asked if that was ok if they discussed the possibility of it and I agreed, so long as they took it slow (she had just recently had a bad experience and "breakup" with her last lover). A few days after this, the husband announced he'd be coming back to town in a week and if they could meet. After the bad experience, I was very hesitant for her to jump right into something else and we had a few heated arguments on the subject. Eventually, Mrs. Pill agreed that it wasn't a good time but asked if they could go out to dinner, just socially and I agreed. So they went to dinner around 7pm, she called me @ 10 asking if it was ok that they get a drink at a nearby bar, which was fine. Midnight rolled around and I called and asked when she was coming home and she said one more drink. I agreed but was tired and went to sleep, thinking Mrs. Pill would be back within the hour. Mrs. Pill woke me at 4am. She said they had lost track of time and, after the bar had closed, they returned to his hotel room. She assured me that nothing happened. I was very upset because she didn't call and tell me beforehand where she was going, how long she'd be gone, or that they were going to his private room. I felt very disrespected and told her it was unsafe and put a lot of questions in my mind. What if I had woken up at 2, with no phone call, and didn't know where she was? Eventually, she agreed and we made up. Fast forward to today. She has the day off work and asked me if they could "meet for lunch". I said no and she's really upset. I just feel like she's sort of "on probation" and that I'm not really certain I can trust her right now.... So am I over-reacting? Expecting too much? Being too harsh?