[spvcouple]

First of all, we certainly wish you the best and hope for a speedy recovery. Though we are not familiar with the ins and outs of TMJ it sounds painful.
Mrs spvcouple does NOT enjoy giving oral. It just plainly is not something that she enjoys and she gets offended when someone expects it as a part of routine play. Most partners understand and continue to play in other ways with her. A few back off completely (their loss). We have even had a few older men who are unable to perform without first getting some head.
Name anything else that is done playing with others and you will find that it is not an expected part of playing. Vaginal intercourse (soft swappers don't). Anal (many ladies won't). Bi-play (some don't swing that way).
It is simply one of the few things Mrs spv doesn't do.