Hello all!
I'm still having a little trouble getting completely used to the idea of my partner being with another person. Here's our story:
My boyfriend and I have been experimenting with "cuckold" and "hotwife" fantasies lately. He loves to imagine me having sex and doing other sexual things with other men, to whom I'm attracted.
Though I felt it was a little out of my comfort zone in the beginning, eventually I began to enjoy it. This experience of being sexual with another person and then coming home to the man I love to find him extremely turned on by my excursion is really exciting and encouraging. My partner thinks I'm doubly sexy after I come back from being with someone else and that feels good!
However, recently he's started telling me about sexual dreams and fantasies he's had about other women. This doesn't feel quite as good to me.
Somehow, it hurts me to think of him wanting to be intimate with another woman, though I know that most men feel this way pretty often, even when they are in happy and successful relationships.
I told him that him thinking about and being sexually interested in other women was fine with me, but that I'd rather not hear about it. -But we love each other very much and to have this rule in place, "you can't talk about ___ with me" or "I want to be connected to you in every way except for ___", doesn't feel good and, I think, will end up putting strain on our relationship in the end.
He wants to share these fantasies with me and he wants me to be equally as excited about them as he is, but when I've tried to be open and listen to his fantasies before, I've ended up in a pool of tears, hurt and angry.
We've had a foursome before with two of my girlfriends - thinking about this experience before it happened was nerve racking for me, but the actual experience itself was actually a lot of fun, and afterward, it was like we were in a completely new and beautiful relationship. It was wonderful!
SO, I feel like there is a way that I could be okay with -a way that I could actually learn to enjoy- the idea of him being with another person and coming home to make love to me, his number one lady with whom he is in love, afterward.
I feel more comfortable with the idea of us doing this as a couple than I do with any other situation. The idea of him hooking up with a single woman is upsetting because I feel that such a situation would open us up to the possibility of her falling in love with or becoming attached to him and feeling like she would need to compete for him with me. My ideal situation would be to meet up with two other people who love each other very much (like my boyfriend and I do), to go into our separate rooms, enjoy one another and then return to our respective partners, having had an exciting sexual experience that threatens neither party's relationship. Or we could stay in one room all together, that could be fun, too!
I guess my question is, has anyone else had a similar experience? Do you think this ideal situation of mine could possibly solve the problem? How do swingers deal with jealousy? Women, does sharing your partner with other women ever make you feel insecure in yourself and how do you deal with it? How can you learn to enjoy it?
I feel like we're on the right path to finding a way that we can both be sexually free and enjoy knowing that each other is being explored sexually by someone else. -Even get off on it! The couple situation I mentioned before definitely turns me on! -But there are still times when I think about him being with another woman and the insecurity and pain rear their ugly heads once again.
Any advice? I could really use it. Thank you!