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Originally Posted by Trellken  For those of you that have this reaction, what constitutes an acceptable level of participation to avoid the zoo-factor? Jules and I have twice gone to swing clubs. We obviously like to watch (I honestly don't understand anyone who says they don't like watching other people having sex) and we certainly participate by fucking and sucking ourselves (putting on our own show so to speak). We would certainly be interested in other women playing, either with just Jules or with both of us, but have no interest in playing with another guy.
Where's the line? At what point along the spectrum do we change from being observers at the zoo to part of the animal collection on display? |
Well since you said that you put on your own show, it's pretty clear which side of the "be watched or watch" line you're on
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As far as your boundaries, they are your boundaries. As long as you accept that other couples may have the same ones as you, which effectively puts you in the "girls play only" camp most of the time, that is what it is. At least you are looking to play, not just watch or be watched.
If we met you at a swing club and got into a conversation, all I would ask is that you say within a few minutes what you are looking for. No one minds you asking them that question. (From your point of view, I would think you'd want to know up front that the couple you're talking to is an "everyone plays" couple pretty soon, right?) As long as the answer isn't "we just like the atmosphere", then personally I think you are fine. Don't get me wrong, though; I know perfectly well it doesn't matter what I think! We may have our preferences, but if it's not our club then we don't make the rules.