I agree with all...wholeheartedly.
Julie hit on my first thought...thanks for stealing my thunder.
Most importantly...and never forget this...not for a minute...we as a group have morals...to have sex with one's friends with the permission of all is NOT immoral. To put your wife in the position that you did, as Julie stated, IS immoral.
To make the statement, "Wife has morals" when referring to her reluctance to do what myself and other board members do is a cheap shot. I feel certain that what you said was meant well and poorly worded but this deep seated attitude may be part of the problem.
Trace