 Re: Swingers, Could you be open to poly?
For me to answer the original question of whether I could be open to poly I'd have to first define what *I* think that entails.
My interpretation of poly differs from swinging in that you allow emotional romantic attachments to form with another person(s) with whom you have sex.
Based on this interpretation, my answer is . . . not really. I do have what I consider to be a borderline-poly relationship, but it's a line that will not be crossed. (And yes, we have discussed the matter with each other and our respective spouses--ad nauseum)
The reasons I do not believe we would ever cross that line are as follows:
1) We both value our relationships with our spouses too highly. In fact, we're not even sure we'd be able to love someone else even close to the depth with which we love our spouses. And that's assuming that . . .
2) either of our spouses would be open to that. While our spouses are comfortable enough with the best friends thing and the copious amount of time we spend together (in person and online), that is the limit of their willingness to "share" us.
3) Mr. Sweet and I have children, and that would significantly complicate any formalization of a relationship. They know “Barney" and know he’s my friend, and we prefer to leave it at that.
4) “Barney” and I are close, but our spouses don’t “click” the same way we do (emotionally). This would also complicate any attempt at a poly relationship.
5) DRAMA. While Mr. Sweet and I have what I think is a great marriage, it is, by nature, prone to at least occasional drama. Swinging increases the potential for more drama. Add in another romantic twist (or even a close friendship, as Barney will attest) and Chernoble starts to look like a day in the park. My life is exciting enough, thank you.
I certainly tip my hat to those who are able to open themselves to poly (whatever their definition), as I imagine it would be a wonderful thing when it works.
=)
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