[azdesertlover]

You are right. It is a matter of trust, but trust goes both ways. Deep down, everyone in the group would like to swing more, but the fear of catching something you don't want is what stops them.

We've had two scary close calls. The first was that we found out someone at a party that we went to, had Herpes, only we didn't find out until a month later. This person is a regular in the group, and almost no one in the group knew about it. The person with Herpes figured that they were taking Valtrex regularly, and hadn't had an outbreak, so it wasn't a problem. WRONG!!! Herpes can be passed on, even if an outbreak isn't occuring, and even if the person with Herpes is taking Valtrex. Granted, most people at the party used condoms, but that was only for vaginal intercourse. No one used a condom for oral sex. And like I mentioned, all STDs can be passed via oral sex.

The second incident is when we were with this great couple. We really clicked with them. Then a week later they told us they had Herpes. They "forgot" since they were also taking Valtrex and didn't have an outbreak in years.

At that point, we knew that if we wanted to continue to be swingers, we had to do something different. After doing some research, we determined that the CDC's recommendation was very misleading and out of date. More recent research has revealed that condoms are not as good a originally thought. And as I mentioned, no protection against STDs at all in some circumtances.

Therefore, the only way was to either stop swinging, or keep it to a small group that has been tested. It's not perfect. Nothing short of abstinence is. Even keeping sex to be between you and your partner, and no one else, relies on trust.