Can a single woman throw a thought in here?
I have found, in past long term relationships, that when the sexual excitement started to decrease it was really because I/he/we were actually bored in other aspects of the relationship.
Instead of focusing on the sexual aspects of your relationship, try placing more energy into the more humdrum aspects. Try really hard to make the everyday, simple activities fun and interesting. Try getting back to the common and shared interests you may have had a few years ago. We all get busy...rush off to work every morning, get home frazzled, try to fix dinner, flop in front of the TV, laundry - you know the routine. You mention he's gained a few pounds - join a gym and go together. The days are longer. Maybe throw some sandwiches in a sack and take off for the park or lake for a long walk 1-2 evenings each week. Millions of different things to do, but do them together and make the simplest things fun. I really believe if you take the focus off sex and make it the relationship, the exciting sexual feelings will return. You know what they say about women - men really need to start foreplay in the morning for an exciting evening!
Generally, when your minds are in sync, everything else works beautifully.
Maybe those that have been in long relationships can explain this better. -EBF
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