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Originally Posted by NCfuncouple98  I believe someone else on this board has stated "At the first sign of attachment, the door is closed and no more playing". I just can't remember if that was bbarnsworth or slevin or mrklin (sorry guys, I know it's one of you!). But I really liked that advice, for us. And it's up to me, or him, to notice any signs of the other "falling" or getting too close. We're just not in a place where we want anything poly, we just want to play and have some fun, but leave it at that. We love where our relationship is, and we don't want to change it. Mrs NC |
Not sure about slevin and mrklin, but it definitely applies to us. It's an unchangeable rule for us. If either of us feels our selves emotionally slipping towards someone beyond platonic friendship, it's cold turkey quit time...no last flings, no meet for lunch one more time or anything. Be polite and courteous to the person/couple involved, but drop them and move on.
We both recognize that it is virtually impossible not to develop some fondness for someone you have sex with over and over and over again. I've told my wife you can have sex with another guy a hundred times, every day if you want, as much as you want. But, our rules are it does not come at the expense of our relationship, and while friendship is fine, romantic interest is not.
Would we consider poly? No. That's in no way a censure of those who are poly. I think it's wonderful there are poly people. I was briefly in a poly triad in the year leading up to meeting my now wife. It didn't go very far, but it opened my eyes and made me understand that poly relationships can be very stable and rewarding.
I don't believe people are capable of loving just one person and one person only. It's absurd on the face of it. You love MANY people in your life, in many different ways. Your heart is certainly capable of loving more than one person in a romantic sense.
However, I actively choose not to share my wife in that way, and she feels the same. It's highly doubtful that will ever change. If it does change, it would have to wait until the kids are out on their own, and it would most likely be an MFM triad.