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Originally Posted by tormontreal  All of you... Thanx so much for the responses. We are truly taken aback at the time and concern that you have given us  . |
This forum is a tremendous resource. My wife and I gained sooo much from this forum when we were first starting out in swinging. It made it all so much easier. The group of people here tend to be great, and better than most other online resources I've been involved in (on other topics). I'll also add that the level of involvement by women on this forum is, I think, considerably higher than your average forum. Major plus.
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Originally Posted by tormontreal We've decided that the risk of disaster in the work place should things not go as planned far outweighs the excitement and enjoyment that may come from this encounter. So we will not be proceding with the co-worker at this time  . Thank you for really hitting this home in your replies (6/6). |
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Originally Posted by tormontreal Seeing as my Miss is more inclined to an organic development of such an evening as opposed to me scouring posting boards it could be some time before such an occasion presents itself again. |
Erm. More like never. Why? Consider this; given that there's a significant subset of the population involved in swinging, chances are you've met several swingers in the past, and maybe even a friend or two of yours are swingers right now. And guess what? I'll wager you haven't a clue they are swingers. Further, they don't have a clue you'd be interested. Even further, playing with non-swingers is such a non-starter for most swingers that they won't approach non-swingers. Not to say it doesn't happen, but it's rare.
So, the chances of something happening organically is very, very low.
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Originally Posted by tormontreal Is anybody in a similar situation... where one of you is more inclined to take steps to make things happen and the other is more content to let things happen "naturally" if the situation is right? I'm very much a goal oriented person and am all about taking steps toward something i want. So sometimes my Miss feels like I might be a little too focused on setting up sex-adventures... |
My wife is not a driver in our lifestyle adventures. She never has been, and probably never will be. We're very comfortable with that. She thoroughly enjoys swinging, and likes the adventures we go on, but she's never the one to set everything up. That's fine with us.
It's fine with us because we're always in communication about what I'm doing vis-a-vis setting things up. She's always in the loop. Further, I open doors of opportunity for her. I don't push her through. I make suggestions, but not tit-for-tat compromises or any other silly architecture. I ask her opinion, rather than first presenting what I feel/think and see if she agrees. I'm very, very oriented towards her happiness and this works really well for us.
I'd suggest you check out swing clubs in either the Montreal or Toronto metro areas. Both places have several options, as I recall. Plus, swing clubs are now legal across your country. There should be plenty of possible avenues of exploration.
Swing clubs are not sex free-for-alls where you're expected to walk in, get naked, and start fucking. They're in many ways just like any other night club. There's usually dancing, mood/stage lighting, music, drinking, lots of people chatting and getting acquainted etc. In many clubs, the sex play doesn't even happen in this area of the club...it's off in the play areas of the club, away from the dance floor etc. Your girlfriend would never be under pressure to do anything and if she was the person giving the pressure needs to be removed from the club (depending on how severe things get). Going to a swing club is a good way to dip your foot in the pool, to see how you like it. It's a nice environment; everyone is there for the same reason (more or less). Some clubs allow single males on certain nights, some clubs don't allow single males at all. Do some research up front and find a club that works for you.
And keep asking us any questions you have! We're happy to help!