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We find them through adds on AFF or Swing Lifestyle so it usually starts with a couple of e-mails and a picture exchange at some point. Looks are important but personality and respect for us is even more so. We like to chat on line a little to try and get a [I]Feel[I] for the kind of person they are. We are not into endless chats and e-mails if all goes well we will set up a meeting at a public place within a week or so of the initial contact depending on our schedules (ours and theirs). We never go to a first meeting expecting to play and tell the same to our prospective play mate, however there have been times that we have played on a first meet if things go very very well. There have been a few instances that she was not interested after we met and we are honest with them and tell them there is no chemistry. Normally though the attraction is there for her by the time we decide to meet them.