The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Helping couples who are uncomfortable at parties

***JustAskJulie*** · 04-20-2009, 07:28 PM

Pet is working on his own issues with shyness but doing well at working through them. Most of the time, I can take the lead and we will still meet many people.

The last time we went to a social, he did very well with talking to people on his own, but we did notice one couple that we thought we recognized from the online signup list and they were sitting off by themselves and never really seemed to talk to anyone the whole night. They didn't get up and dance, I never saw them move. We were on the opposite side of the room and talked to many people but I didn't make the effort to cross the room and introduce us. We did get an email from that couple the next day that they saw us and we looked like we were having a good time and they hoped to actually meet us next time. It made me feel bad that we hadn't made the effort to get to the other side of the room and meet them.

So I guess to answer the question - we do nothing as well. I guess part of it is dealing with our own issues and another part is when we see someone who looks obviously uncomfortable there is a fear that approaching them will make them feel more uncomfortable - especially if there isn't interest.

04-20-2009, 07:28 PM	#15 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,294 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	Re: Helping couples who are uncomfortable at parties Pet is working on his own issues with shyness but doing well at working through them. Most of the time, I can take the lead and we will still meet many people. The last time we went to a social, he did very well with talking to people on his own, but we did notice one couple that we thought we recognized from the online signup list and they were sitting off by themselves and never really seemed to talk to anyone the whole night. They didn't get up and dance, I never saw them move. We were on the opposite side of the room and talked to many people but I didn't make the effort to cross the room and introduce us. We did get an email from that couple the next day that they saw us and we looked like we were having a good time and they hoped to actually meet us next time. It made me feel bad that we hadn't made the effort to get to the other side of the room and meet them. So I guess to answer the question - we do nothing as well. I guess part of it is dealing with our own issues and another part is when we see someone who looks obviously uncomfortable there is a fear that approaching them will make them feel more uncomfortable - especially if there isn't interest.