Hello Trent! Welcome aboard!
I have to tell you that when I read the title of your thread "Want to swing by wife is not open to idea..." my first reaction was, "Then you won't be swinging..." After reading the thread, however, I see a lot of myself about 17 years ago. You and I are very similar in our desires. Mrs.Trent and my wife Lin, however, are a bit different. Lin already had a fantasy - she was just hesitant to tell me about it. She didn't have a lot of experience (I got Lin her first vibrator while we were living together, before we married - she was 35 at the time...) but she knew that sex was a lot more than what her ex-husband was offering. But I digress...
I'd like to invite you to read my incredibly long blog post here on the Swinger's Board titled
How We Got Involved in Swinging <-that's a link to page 1.
The whole story is 4 pages long, and I know that may be a turn off at first, but grab yourself a coffee and settle in for a bit to read it. I wrestled with many of the same things you're wrestling with now. How do you open the conversation without pushing the issue? How do you let her know that you really mean it when you tell her that she can discuss anything at all with you?
Been there, done that, my friend. Check out the blog post and mull it over for a while. I know it isn't a step-by-step instruction guide, but maybe having a bit of insight from a guy who was flying blind might help you out.
Whichever way you decide to go, my friend, just know that we here at the board wish the both of you luck.