Re: Separating the emotional from the physical? The thing I have noticed is it's a level of understanding of love -- love isn't a single emotion but a whole ecosystem of emotions and connections beyond happy, cozy, attracted, and lusty because. My wife and I understand that love means all that stuff but all the other stuff like sad, prickly, annoyed, and unsexy.
My wife and I got to this point through a lot of healthy communication and some playing with the boundaries and MUCH more communication. We know that part of what makes sex great is the lust attraction and maybe some of that is wrapped up in falling in love, but we have agreed the love that exists between us now is primary, and the playing is secondary.
I'm not saying that we couldn't fall in love with other people that we play with, but we don't seek it, and by having a policy of open comunication we know we'll handle it together. |