We've been very open to encounters since we got together, however our rules are that this is discussed beforehand, and up until recently the other party was always involved - at least in the same house, if not the same room or bed.
Mr. AR went on a vacation with his buddies, met some woman, lied about being married, played the tropical single guy, and then lied to me about it (until I got an e-mail from her going on about how fantastic it was) - then I was pissed!
Open is "open", i.e. open for discussion and action, not behind the back. The damage done by his cheating has taken a long time to repair.
Face it, a fuck is a fuck, but his lying to me and hiding it from me turned it into cheating, and the lying about being single while he was on this vacation, I felt, disrespected me and everything to dowith our marriage and was very, very hurtful. We are now re-exploring the boundaries of our relationship and working on re-establishing the trust that was battered.
So, the long and short of it is, I am for an open relationship as long as it is truly "open" - no lies, no bullshit. |