[The Fuse]

You know, I don't think you're overthinking. This kind of thing has been on my mind lately. We don't do the group scene very much, maybe four or five times in three years. At least twice, I have ended up with an infection. Once it was a bacterial infection, back in 2007, and once it was a UTI, last month. Each infection had indirect effects that lasted a while, even after I went to the doctor the first time to get the main infection cleared up.

I hate to add to the list of things to worry about, but I believe both of my infections were from "digits" rather than from oral. The first time we were with two couples we were close to, and no condoms were used, so I think that's how I got the bacterial infection. But that could just have easily been from someone fingering the originator and then fingering me, without washing, instead of from intercourse.

Fingering is how I think I got the UTI -- either that or just plain old bacteria on his fingers from normal living. The fingering was very vigorous, so that might have been the cause too or at least contributed to it. It was really intense at the time but the price was too high later.

These things, along with plain old preference, have turned me off of the group scene. We were never that interested in it anyway, but now less so. We'll be more likely to turn it down, and if we do do it again, I'm going to be the killjoy who says "Please wash between touching her and touching me".

So I don't know whether oral is the main thing to worry about. Fingers are at least as likely a way to spread some kinds of infections.