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unusualsuspects · 04-02-2009, 01:44 PM

My wife and I think we have safe sex: we use condoms for any vaginal intercourse but nor for oral, and we go through a lot of condoms if we're changing positions a lot. This is fine when we're playing such that we've each got our own partners and don't share too much.

Our question is what to do when it's a big pile of people. The main thing we see is since both of us don't use condoms during oral sex, there exists a lot more risk because of the nature of multiple partners. When it's just two people, it's not so bad: transmission rates orally are low enough we accept that, but how about this scenario...

I perform oral sex on my wife, then on our new friend. Am I wrong in being concerned that my wife has now essentially had unprotected sex with this woman?

Now you'll say, "female to female transmission is low too" ok... so how about this one... our new friend performs oral sex on her male partner then on my wife. Now has my wife had unprotected sex with that man?

After 2 years and a handful of great experiences, we're still clear, and we are pretty selective about partners, and I think that takes a lot of the risk out of it, but are we overthinking?

04-02-2009, 01:44 PM	#1 (permalink)
unusualsuspects Here to Stay Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 31 Location: San Jose, CA Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:unusualsuspects	Safety in the puppy pile My wife and I think we have safe sex: we use condoms for any vaginal intercourse but nor for oral, and we go through a lot of condoms if we're changing positions a lot. This is fine when we're playing such that we've each got our own partners and don't share too much. Our question is what to do when it's a big pile of people. The main thing we see is since both of us don't use condoms during oral sex, there exists a lot more risk because of the nature of multiple partners. When it's just two people, it's not so bad: transmission rates orally are low enough we accept that, but how about this scenario... I perform oral sex on my wife, then on our new friend. Am I wrong in being concerned that my wife has now essentially had unprotected sex with this woman? Now you'll say, "female to female transmission is low too" ok... so how about this one... our new friend performs oral sex on her male partner then on my wife. Now has my wife had unprotected sex with that man? After 2 years and a handful of great experiences, we're still clear, and we are pretty selective about partners, and I think that takes a lot of the risk out of it, but are we overthinking?