If, during a date, I have reason to believe I won't be as energetic as usual, I will say something. Usually this is not on a first date, but even if it was I would just be up front about it. For instance, about 5 weeks ago we were with a couple we already know, and I had been up the night before feeling sick with food poisoning. I was still pretty fatigued and my stomach didn't feel great yet. So I just said something to him and gave him the option.
I think Mrs. Dead Fish should have been more communicative if she had reason to think she was not at her best playwise, especially with a new partner who didn't know her sexually yet. Personally I would have been apologizing all over the place. Plus, even if I don't have enough energy to get on top or something, at least I can be my usual vocal self or talk more in bed to let my partner know I am enjoying it. If Mrs. Dead Fish was as lively before the play session as you say, then I would have expected her to be forthcoming and apologetic if she was feeling at all apathetic toward having sex.
Last weekend, as I wrote in another thread, I had some breakthrough bleeding with a new partner. I could have let that stop things, and truthfully I felt very embarrassed and therefore inhibited, but I just took a deep breath and told him it had happened before, that I was sorry and that it wasn't hurting me. We finished, and it wasn't long before he was ready for another go
. I went ahead and gave him a blow job instead of risking more bleeding. So there are ways to be active even if you have something holding you back. I would bet Mrs. Dead Fish is probably always that way. And since you have to travel to see them, is it really worth it? I know Mr. Stud was a lot of fun, and that can definitely enter into decision making
, but perhaps you should let Jim make the call. There are other fish in the sea. This is obviously bothering him, since he posted about it.