Lyssa:
You’ve probably already had all the reassurance that you need, but here’s one more piece anyway.
I find my wife attractive and desirable; we have an active, fulfilling sex life; we meet up regularly with couples similar in outlook and desires to ourselves. And yet I still feel the urge to masturbate when alone. The frequency of those urges can look a little like a sine wave, but it’s an urge that’s fairly constant. Why? I think Brad’s point about it being ‘sex for one’ is pretty close to the money: it’s about being able to be selfish. And as you undoubtedly know yourself, masturbation produces orgasms that differ from those enjoyed during sex with a partner (or partners!)
Some people (particularly men, if you believe the behaviourists and scientists) happen to be visually orientated, and so it seems does your husband. Rest assured, the porn photos he looks at are just casual anchors for whatever fantasies he’s enjoying when he masturbates.
From what you’ve said, your husband’s solo activities haven’t detracted from the pleasures you share together, so I’ll end by reiterating what Brad, Roxy and Jamie have already said. Relax, have confidence in yourself and your relationship, and enjoy yourself. And if you still have niggling concerns, talk to your husband. He’ll undoubtedly put your mind at rest once and for all.
And if it helps, rest assured, you are a beautiful woman in your own right. Forget the comparisons with airbrushed images of supposed perfection. It's a waste of time and energy.
|