Thank you so much for writing me
And you definitely told me what I wanted to hear in the whole situation. I actually did talk to him about it last night and he felt stupid, reasonably so, and he feels horrible for making me feel that he wasnt interested in me and he says he isnt going to look at porn atall anymore. This totally bothers me because thats not what I wanted! I don't want to be the type of wife who would take something like that away from my husband. Ive always been proud of how open-minded I am towards my husband. I just couldnt help how it made me feel. I feel so unattractive next to the girls he looks at and it just made me feel uglier than I already thought I was. He tells me Im beautiful 20 times a day. Im not exaggerating when I say our relationship is perfect and he shows no lack of interest in me sexually atall. I just felt like he had a separate life on the computer and I didnt know what was going on in his head. The girls he looked at were always the opposite of me and thats caused some worry in my head...he looks at blonde super skinny small boobs airbrushed perfect girls...and I have dark brown hair, a not exactly perfect body, 36D....complete opposite! So I wonder what he wants and what he finds attractive. Thats so selfish...but it hurts and I just couldnt ignore it. So now Ive made my wonderful husband feel guilty for my issues...thats why I wrote on here...to see someone outside the situations opinions. I didnt know if it would sound to someone else like he likes looking at these opposite girls because thats what he needs to be turned on or if it was a pretty innocent guy thing. Weve looked at pictures together and its funny, it could take him 5 minutes to get hard looking at porn or pictures, but he gives me an innocent hug and I can feel him getting instantly hard. Our sex life is awesome...even after 8 years. I just worried that every night when we have sex hes thinking about the beautiful girls he looked at that morning. So, he swears that in order to make me happy he will never look at porn again...I dont want him to quit, I dont want him to resent me for something I never wanted to happen. Masterbating is totally normal and looking is fine. Im not normally so jealous. His looking just made me feel sad about myself and made me think he was bored. So Im kinda stuck in another mess, I dont want him to quit looking...it just seemed like a lot. Thanks for your help! I really appreciate it!