We've never used fake names. We have used our initials on a few first time e-mails, but no fake names. We'd forget and then we'd really be in trouble.
We ALWAYS meet in public the first time. A diner or restaurant or some other public venue. We always tell our kids where we're going. They don't need to know details, so we don't tell.
We don't go with expectations, but if it's decided that we're going to go play, we call and tell our kids that we'll be at such and such place and we should be home by such and such a time. As far as condom use, there is a non-negotiable rule that we always use condoms. No matter what. The only man who gets out of that rule is Dave.
