I too don't understand the logic in using fake names. Heck, I have enough trouble remembering my real name at times, now I'm gonna throw a fake name into the mix?
When meeting a couple for the first time, we meet over coffee or drinks in a neutral public place, and go from there. I agree with the others who say that they don't go to anyone's home at first - nobody knows what they're walking into. Meeting at an on-premise or off-premise club is a great option too, and one we're starting to like more and more as we do it.
Yes - always use condoms. That should go without saying.
I wouldn't meet someone for the first time with the expectation that there will be any playtime that night. Don't get me wrong - there might be, but it's been our experience that for the most part that's not the case. They're just a curious and nervous as you are. They're going to need time to make up their minds about you, just as you're going to need a bit of time to make up your minds about them. Everyone has to be sure they really 'click,' and that the 4-way chemistry is there. It can and does happen on a first meeting, but not often. A first meeting at an on-premise club gives you the advantage of a place to play without the added expense of a hotel if the chemistry is right. It also gives you the possibility of meeting someone else if you all agree that the chemistry just isn't there.
Overall, I'd say to just be yourselves, be discrete, and stay safe.