Quote:
Originally posted by Lovers6770
Its good to see people have interest in topics like this. I find it really gets the "grey matter" working. LOL. To answer anybodies curiousity about if the question is a round about one or not. The answer is no it isn't.
While my personal opinion is still up for grabs about the true "health" of this kind of activity. Kalin & I already know that this is not a likely state for us to gravitate torwards since we both enjoy too much, the opportunity to watch each other in action. We have talked about the subject in determining where the "limits" should be for us and figured out that while I think I could deal with it in her she could likely not with me.
We have met three couples that do/did have an open marriage. Last we checked one was still doing so successfuly, another stopped abuptly just short of a breakup a couple months after we met them and the third is a rather interesting case study in and of itself.
The first are happily married and both have very open minds and free-sprinted egos with lots of sex drive. Each knows what they want in life and are will to allow each other the freedom to explore and express themselves as they desire. They each continue to remain commited to each other and love & care for one another and have a great sex life together and separately. i.e. the model "open marriage" couple.
The second couple got into it, it seems, to "fix" a problem in their marriage. He initiated the idea to satisfy his need for additional sexual encounters and she agreed as long as she had the same "rights". Seems she was having more fun than he was due to substancially greater opportunities then he had. And there in lies what I supect to be the fundamental problem with this scenario for most couples. Unequal access/opportunities. If this could remain in balance then I suspect that it could work out more frequently for couples that try it.
The third are a husband and wife that are remaining married in the techniqical sense and living under the same roof for the sake of their two small children which they both love and addour, but for all intenssive purposes they are each living separate lives. So in essense their relationship doesn't really constitute an "open marriage" since they are "uncommitted" to the relationship per se.
What have you seen or experienced? Curious minds want to know?
Sincerely,
Paul & Kalin |
Great post. You really hit the head on the three most likely scenarios.
You are right. Lots of grey matter better be involved beforehand.
The last scenario sounds like they were doomed to begin with. If you have a bad experience swinging, or in anything you really need to have the communication skills to work it out. I cannot see how healthy it can be for the family unit to exist like that.
John (the "counseler" that is still figuring out why he is single again). Maybe cuz I moved 1500 miles away? NAH. OH shut up John.
Im kidding. Our breakup had nothing to do with swinging at all.
But this is great food for thought for those considering how to set boundries.