[The Fuse]

Aha. I have found the hornet's nest.

This is an interesting topic and I have found the responses stimulating and sometimes amusing. The OP should be proud to have brought up an original topic that is so appropriate! Some of the answers have been perhaps a bit forceful, but that happens sometimes.

My serious answer to "why don't more men do it?" is that like a lot of things, our opinions are influenced by our situations. Let me try to explain. My impression is that for many couples, I'm guessing the majority of those still of childbearing age, the woman is on birth control of some sort. -- I wonder if that is true? I just consider it the default way that people work things. --If it is true, then those couples don't care whether their swing partners are snipped, because they aren't going to get pregnant anyway.

Following that linkage some more, then, if most people are not hoping for a V-safe man, then having that surgery does not become one of the things most people expect in play partners. As we all know, prevailing expectations are very influential, sometimes seeping into the collective (un)consciousness.

A few more random thoughts:

One, Having a vasectomy is, after all, surgery. Any surgery is potentially serious. That would discourage plenty of men/couples who are on the pill from doing it to suit their hobby. Not to mention that some insurance doesn't cover it, so the bill would be quite a consideration.

Two, If someone tells me they are vasectomy-safe, I'll nod and smile, but it's not like I'm going to place that kind of trust in someone I don't know well. So if someone does it to make themselves a more attractive swing partner, it's not helping with me...and probably not with lots of people. Also, I'm 42, so the chances of me getting pregnant, let alone with a condom on, are pretty darn small.

Three, I'll have to agree with those who believe that it's every woman/couple's responsibility to make sure they don't get pregnant. I couldn't expect someone to consider having surgery just to have sex with me. It's bad enough trying to find out if they've been tested for STDs. Plus, the trust thing again. Someone can tell you they are safe, but they could well be lying. If they are wanting to bareback, and think you might go for it, well...

Four, Have you ever met someone, usually a guy, who won't fix their male pet because of some weird boy-macho thing? I've known at least one very smart guy who had this attitude with a pet cat. Even worse when considering having it done to themselves. Even though it's wrong, lots of guys have the sense that getting the snip could be emasculating. More dis-incentive.

In conclusion, I'd say the framing of the question "Why are some people so hesitant to..." suggests that having a vasectomy is less significant than it is. It's not major surgery, but it's not like having a mole removed either.