[Chicup]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say in some cases its the mans fault, in some cases the womans, and in some cases both.

I know a guy who lost his sex drive due to his wife getting fat. He wasn't, and he was too much a product of Alan Alda male psychology to tell her she was too fat.

They are now divorced.

I think its a bit naive to assume that how we handle these things is going to be how the average person does. We are NOT average, we as swingers that is, have much better communication with our spouses and far less of those subject areas we can't talk about. Also by default we are the more sexually adventurous compared to most vanillas. Its easy for us to poopoo others in not having our level of understanding with our spouses when so many others refuse to even talk about their sexuality.

When my wife was getting to fat for my tastes, I told her so. Luckily she didn't like it either and has worked her way back to where we are both happy. It doesn't take much to change to see how that type of thing could fall apart on either the mans or womans side. Hell women get told over and over that, that sort of thing shouldn't matter when you love each other and are married, to which of course I say bullshit.