[JustAskJulie]

I was convinced I would hate this book based on the title. I think it's because of how turned off I get when I see the question "How do I Convince (or get) My Wife to Swing". You can't convince someone to do something they don't want to do, and the idea that someone would try really bothers me.

However, this book is actually pretty good. It is written by women, from a womans point of view directed at men who are interested in swinging but don't know how to bring it up to their wives.

The one dissapointment I had with the book is that I didn't feel it spent enough time early on in establishing that a couple must have a very strong relationship and good communication before anyone considers bringing up the topic. Instead it jumps right into telling you that your desires are normal and that your wife has fantasies too. The book explains to men the questions they need to be able to answer for themselves, as well as their wives, before they ever bring up the topic. From there it goes into explaining why women typically think differently about sex than men do. After that it jumps right into the discussion on how to move forward in your plan to "Get Your Wife to Swing".

Honestly, Chapter 6 is a must read for all men, regardless of whether or not they want to swing, or are already swinging. It is a primer on romance and a great reminder about how important the non-sexual things are in building romance (and from there a great sex life). Chapter 7 guides you into taking things to the next level by incorporating porn into your diet, taking the wife to a strip club, etc. The strip club idea kinda bothered me because it does assume that all women are turned on by other women. We know this isn't true, and we also know that many women completely knew to the idea of swinging may be even more turned off by the idea of a strip club than they would be a swinger club (simply due to the idea that it's all women on display).

Chapter 9 bugged me a bit as it goes into the different ways you can actually bring up the subject of swinging. The first two ways require you to have a conversation with your wife while having a hidden agenda (sneak attack). Personally, I don't think any conversations between husbands and wives should have hidden agendas, especially not conversations of this magnitude. To me the only way to bring it up is the final way they introduce - the Straightfoward Approach. Even if you are using porn or the mention of something you saw on the internet as a conversation starter, it is always best to be honest about your intentions.

Chapter 10 addresses what are likely to be the wife's initial reactions to the discussion of swinging. The potential reactions are true, but the suggested responses to her reactions are more than a bit over-simplified.

Overall the book has some good ideas and some good ways to initiate discussion regarding swinging, as well as to continue discussion as you go along, but I feel it skips some very important issues - most importantly how important it is to have a well grounded relationship to start with. I also feel that it may encourage some men to be deceptive in the way that they approach their wives/girlfriends about swinging.

Other areas that the book attempts to address, the authors seem to try to get too specific and their information is based on their own experience and preferences rather than addressing it from the perspective that many things vary throughout the swinging world (ie. what to expect at a club, what the rules at clubs are, dress codes, etc).

I think this book is a good read in addition to other books on the lifestyle, mainly in terms of helping you get some good ideas on how to initiate communication, and like I said Chapter 6 should be read by everyone just for great ideas on how to improve your own relationship. However, it should not be a "be all end all" in terms of books to read on swinging, nor should it be taken as gospel. For those guys are "trying to convince their wife/girlfriend" to swing, this is NOT the answer and if you try to follow it without first ensuring that the parts they skipped (making sure your relationship is solid and communication is already established before bringing it up) are taken care of, you'll likely do more damage than good.