[rpu3]

The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities
Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt
ISBN 1-890159-01-8

This book is an easy-to-read treatment of alternative sexual relationships and would highly recommend it to someone questioning traditional relationships or seeking guidance as to the care and feeding of such relationships or who just wants a good basic book on polyamory and open relationships. Much of the advice, especially communication and boundaries, is applicable to anyone in a relationship, vanilla or otherwise. It would a good foundation book to one's alternative sexual lifestyles library.

The authors define "slut" as "a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you" and segues their reclaiming of the word "slut"as a positive, gender-neutral word into practical discussion as to handling multiple sexual relationships in a ethical manner.

The book is divided into four parts. Part I focuses on our own relationship with our sexuality, ethics, values, language, skills and "slut" styles. Part II is about relationships with others, and has some of the most useful advice on boundaries and jealousy I've found in one resource. The book wants its readers to define their own boundaries and to appreciate others' boundaries through consideration, accountability and communication. There is more practical information here on setting personal boundaries, keeping agreements with your partner(s), respect, dealing with unpleasant emotions, fighting fair, nurturing a loving relationship, and maintaining personal integrity than I've seen in vanilla relationship books. Part III discusses health issues, legal issues and child rearing issues and is the shortest part of the book. Part IV is discusses the who and where in finding partners and environments to play in. The book also provides a good bibliography and resource list.

The book is straightforward and blunt. It makes clear that having multiple sexual partners may very well involve more jealousy, suspicion and insecurity on average and requires constant balancing and reevaluation and provides guidance to work through those issues. However, I felt it flippantly dismissed some potential issues or questions, especially in the do and don't lists scattered through the book. Others' mileage may vary, of course. I wish the book had discussed why multiple sexual partners works better on social, sexual, health, and economic levels than monogamy for some people and why they consider it worthwhile, given the potential issues. Regardless, it is a valued resource in my small collection of "alternative" books and one I refer to often.

This book's second edition, The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures, is scheduled for release in March, 2009.