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Originally Posted by SOONERCOUPLE99  Thanks for the responses so far.
We are a pretty open group of friends sexually. We talk all the time about what we do in bed, and not in a fantastical way. We have joked about swinging and key parties and stuff like that a lot. So I definitely understand using humor.
I understand all your points on the swinging with traditional friends. Those are all valid concerns of ours as well, and things that I have brought up already, and things I will bring up when we all talk. Really, I am for starting in a club scene, but my wife is adamant about doing it with someone she knows. I think the club would be easier in a lot of respects. But if my friend knew that we could have been swinging the whole time, he would be nonplussed. So I decided I could give them the first shot.
For me, the level of the sexual activity is irrelevant. If it is just heavy petting between the girls and then part ways for sex, that is a start. If they want to do oral on each other and then we do same room sex, that is good. If we really get into it and go full bore swapping that is great. Or if we just talk about it and decide they aren't ready then that's fine too. It would just probably be a little while before my wife and I get the opportunity. And it may be the only opportunity for my friends.
That's my thinking right now. It isn't a dying need that this happen, but I feel there is a good chance it will. I think my wife will bring it up this weekend, joke about another couple we know, open up about some sex stuff, question her a bit, then mention the making out thing and that they should do that. Then see if she wants us all to sit down and talk about what we would be comfortable with. That's almost the same approach I took with the husband. |
This all sounds like you have a fairly good head on your shoulders and that your expectations and aspirations at this point in time are pretty reasonable and realistic.
I want to specifically address the point you make about your wife being "adament that it be someone she knows."
That is perfectly fine and reasonable. Here is something for both of you to consider. You can go to clubs and meet people (aka 'real swingers') and you can "get to know" them to her hearts desire. There are no timelines or deadlines in getting to know someone. There are people we knew and interacted with on a fairly regular basis for almost a couple years before we ever played with them. You/she can take as long as she wants to get to know someone and many people in the lifestyle are as interested in friendship and comfort as they are in sexual matters and it is not uncommon or unheard of for people to spend many months or even years getting to know each other before anything sexual occurs.
Also keep in mind that in a lifestyle arena people often forgo discussions of work, house repairs, kids activities, world politics, the economy etc etc and discuss actuall personal topics and the "getting to know" process can be much accelerated as opposed to vanilla environments.
You can go to clubs and meet real swingers and still get to know people to a comfortable degree. Knowing someone and going to lifestyle clubs are not mutually exclusive concepts.