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Originally Posted by JustAskJulie  I'm not poly and don't pretend to understand the deep workings of such a relationship especially when you are dealing with two couples involved (and therefore 4?...8? potential relationships).
But, my thought from an outsider is that if everyone is ok with the situation as you explained it then why not give it a try. Allow A+X to continue their poly relationship... and B&Y can continue to play occasionally in a swinger type situation. There's no harm in seeing how it works and it just might work. |
This is what we thought too. Eventually it imploded. The other couple was never really straight with us about how they saw things at the end, but my feeling is that eventually B&Y weren't all that eager to get together on a swinger basis. I think that's when things went downhill because other feelings intruded -- imbalance, too much feeling in the wrong direction, etc. Eventually the other couple took a series of very quick actions that did not directly address the real issues, but made it clear that something was wrong. My confused and questioning reaction, which was probably a bit too strident, got us cut off entirely.
If I had it to do again, I like to think I would have chosen not to follow the path we did. We tried to manage the imbalance in a way that kept everyone happy. It was only possible for a certain period of time.