The Fuse:
"I wonder if perhaps this was a case where both couples expected the other couple to "make the first move" and this other couple got frustrated waiting for an opening or for something to happen. One of those cases where expectations ended up ruining the moment.
We tend to not really be sure how to "make the first move" when first playing with a new couple and we're a bit shy to do so. So I definitely empathize with that part. It sounds like you perhaps wanted to get things started with your own partners and then possibly progress to touching each other's partner?
The issue of the other lady wanting too much attention -- we have seen this before, and it is a definite caution sign for me."
Lustylearning:
"After reading your post, I'm trying to understand something. When they asked if you wanted to go to the back, did you go to the back and stay with Mrs. Shy? If so, then you may have been sending a mixed signal, which frustrated the couple. If I'm understanding correctly, you were asked to play and wound up sticking together somehow. If this is the case, you just may need to break out of your comfort zone and switch partners more quickly. Even if you're looking for soft swap, you need to swap partners. "
slevin:
"I wonder if perhaps this was a case where both couples expected the other couple to "make the first move" and this other couple got frustrated waiting for an opening or for something to happen. One of those cases where expectations ended up ruining the moment.
We tend to not really be sure how to "make the first move" when first playing with a new couple and we're a bit shy to do so. Not sure if that really was a factor here or if you guys were just working at your pace and they didn't get that. So I definitely empathize with that part."
------I read these first couple of replies yesterday and thought, wow were we the insensitive ones or were we sending the wrong signals? When we went back we were touching our own aprtners and chatting and watching the porn playing and noboby was making a move so we all started making out with our partners. As things were heating up and we were getting undressed, we were watching and they were watching. So me and Mrs Shy started touching them (mostly her). We didnt get any negative signals like a recoil or a "no" but we also didn't get any positive signal either like a moan, or oooh thats nice but especially, no reciprocation. We tried the touching a few times, each time a bit more bold and the same response. So we stopped trying thinking either they werent into it or would warm up to us later. Just like everybody here has said making the first move is hard. I dont agree with "LUSTYLEARNING" about breaking out of our comfort zone. We have only been with one couple at this point and our comfort zone is ever expanding.
I think some of the best advice was from:----------------
Two4funinpa
"I think you really can get a good or bad vibe from a profile. My advice would be to follow your intuition. Communicate very clearly what works for the two of you. It is all about learning and growing. "
------------------I still think Mrs Shy Was probably right about her first impression of the other female and wish she/we would have stuck to it. But a few drinks, sexy atmosphere, and hot couple can cloud your, or at least our, judgement
We met one couple and had drinks and dinner but didnt play with. They had been doing this longer and gave us some advice/observations and I think we may not have taken it seriously enough. They said some people have a script like a porno in their heads and want it to go exactly as planned and most of the time the attention is focused on them and may not be a good evening. We have things/ideas that make us hot but prefer to jump in and let things take a natural progression and if a line is crossed then back off or tell someone else to back off.
We should have done what we planned which was what jjtrindc suggested:------------------------
jjtrindc:
"All good advice here, but have to say that we totally know where you are coming from. So often we go to clubs and get so into each other, dancing, making out, etc, that we never end up playing with others. We often get comments from other couples about how it looks like we are having so much fun together. It's not that we are against playing or anything, but its not our priority. We still go home with big smiles on our faces
At the end of the day, go and enjoy the sexy vibe and each other. Let the rest happen when you are ready."
--------Which is what we said before going out. If nothing worked out we would play together in the group/open area and watch and be watched. What got us interesten in this was some voyeurism and exhibitionism.
Most of the advice given here was what we expected: communication,communication,communication. We all could have done a better job than we did. The other thing was to we should have went with our/her gut instinct. I think every time we go out we learn something new. The last few times have been learning experiences and we are ready to have some more drama free playtime.
Thanks for the words of wisdom everyone. Hope you were able to make it to the end of this follow up posting.-------------------