[The Fuse]

Sounds like it is definitely a learning experience. It does happen, meaning you as a couple get into a situation with another couple when you haven't necessarily talked couple-to-couple about what each couple is looking for. As couples get more experience, it becomes less awkward to simply ask the other couple (or respond when they ask you), "What do you like to do? Are you full swap, soft swap, emphasis on girl-girl play.... " to pretty clearly lay out what each couple's preferences are.

Sometimes, the talk is omitted because one couple isn't sure what they are looking for. When you are new, and you really don't know how far you want to go, it is probably best to just say that up front. But if you are only interested in same room sex, that is, no touching of each other's partners, it is best to say so. It sounds like you perhaps wanted to get things started with your own partners and then possibly progress to touching each other's partner? If so, again, saying so might be a good idea.

The issue of the other lady wanting too much attention -- we have seen this before, and it is a definite caution sign for me. If I sense this might be the case in another couple, I try to gauge the extent of it during the conversation about what each person likes. Sometimes I might actually ask the other lady if she is all right with her man being with someone else, or if she prefers that he be paying attention to her while my husband is also playing with her.

Either way, I hope you don't let it get you down too much or for too long. I can see how an experience like this would tamp down your motivation for trying again. But I can vouch for the common-ness of having the occasional bummer time for one reason or another -- a play session cut short because of incompatibility, a couple who loses their desire to be with you, someone making a nasty comment, or any one of a lot of reasons. It happens. But the fun times are really fun....