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Old 01-30-2009, 10:18 PM   #10 (permalink)
ncmd_couple
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,252
Location: North Carolina
Status: Couple
Swing Lifestyle Name:ncmd_couple

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Default Re: How do you feel about newbs who don't swap?

Quote:
Originally Posted by warrencouple View Post
Just a thought that crossed my mind (boy for someone who has yet to even poke at the cherry I've got tons of questions) tonight. How do you feel about a newb couple, who won't swap? Not even soft swap. How would you feel, if you went to your favorite on-premise club, saw a couple obviously nervous, got to chatting, think the chemistry is there, but they tell you (before heading to the play area) that they're not willing to even soft swap. They'll do same room sex, and incidental contact won't (they think) freak them out, but that's as far as they'll go.

Would you still consider going to play with them? Or do you not consider this "playing" and decline?

Or, do you see the "deer in the headlights" looks, and stay clear of them, thus avoiding the situation entirely?

Mind you, in my hypothetical situation above, they're up-front with you, when the conversation starts heading towards "let's play." Just as obviously, if you're not into the "voyeur / exhibitionist" of same room sex, I'd presume you'd gracefully decline, telling them "that's not something we're into."

I'm asking, as (I hope) the Mrs and I will be that newb couple soon. Now, to be honest, I'm expecting little more than her and I will have a good time, maybe dance (although neither of us are dancers), have conversations with people at the club, maybe use the hot tub (outdoors, in Windsor, in February, with it expected to be below freezing...), but that's about it. But, I'd be curious to know how people who've "been there, done that, and more" feel about "nervous newbs."

Thanks,
Mr.
Mr. Warren,

On our first visit to a swinger's club, we had no friggin idea what we were walking into. Honestly, I have not read any of the responses that you have received so far. But we had a great time, with each other, all of our fears were groundless. Yes, we did a full swap that night, didn't plan on it, my wife had fears, but I had no expectations. It was a great weekend. Go into the club with no expectations or fears, because there is no need to have them, no means no in a well run club. Just enjoy the sexy environment!

S
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