One thing you might also consider...and how our first few club visits went...we did socialize and met some great people. And with only a few exceptions, the only people we ever played with at the club was each other. Not that was what we were hoping for, it just worked out that way.
If you are afraid of feeling like you are leading someone on, do be upfront about your limits/boundaries. Most people at a club/party are there for the social interaction as well as the potential to find other playmates.
But, if the mood strikes you...there are usually no rules that say you can't just take your wife up to the group play area, find a spot, and enjoy each other where you can watch others and be watched.
Do whatever works for you as a couple and have fun!
