[NCfuncouple98]

Mrs NC here. You know, years ago, my husband could've said the same thing about me. I was very passive, wasn't that into giving oral sex. Missionary style was the norm.

Mr. NC was very patient with this, but over time, guided me over my insecurities and opened my mind to try new things. I didn't watch porn, didn't own any toys, and was perfectly content with our sex life.

OMG, the things I know now and the years I wasted. And while I still love the man to be the "take charge" participant, I have no problems anymore with giving oral, climbing on top, voicing my desires, etc.

So, is she really just "not into it"? Or could it be that she has her own insecurities about sex in general. Is she insecure about her body? Insecure that she is not good at giving oral?

I would recommend that before you jump into the swinging world, spend more time together exploring each other, understanding each other's desires, fantasies, fears, wants, likes, dislikes, etc.

I think you two need to be more secure as a couple and your sexuality before inviting anyone into the bedroom. You mentioned she feels she might get jealous. This really means she's not quite ready for swingiing with other couples.

Go to the club, but only to watch initially. Go more than once. Have sex with only each other at the end of the night. Then, talk about the experience, and thoughts that were running through your minds.

Jumping into swinging too soon can be harmful to both you as individuals and you as a couple. Proceed slowly with caution. And open up and talk about everything. And I do mean everything.