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Originally Posted by westcan  I hope that this is not a stupid topic to bring up. My wife and I are now talking about visiting a on-premises club near our town for the first time. We have no swinging experience. Some of our concerns are that Ms. Westcan does not really like giving oral sex. And although she has a very giving and loving personality generally, in bed she prefers to let the man do all the work and be somewhat agressive while she prefers to be laid back and passive. Would this be dissappointing to other men? Oral sex has never been a big deal to me, but I think that most men would probably expect it. I ask because she is the first women I have ever been with that is not into giving oral sex, although it is probably not that uncommon. I know that the subject of oral sex is a concern to her in the lifestyle. Also, is it normal to ask her partner to wear a condom for oral sex if she does choose to try? She is quite shy to talk about sex, even with me, so it has taken us years to get a good feel for each other in bed. Another concern from my perspective is that although she is quite turned on at the idea of being "pounded" by one or more men, she feels she might get very jealous of seeing me with someone. I have told her many times that to me love and sex are very different and that I am 100 per cent certain that she is my only love and it would never change [she really is the best woman I have ever met in every way and I utterly adore her]. |
My wife is similar at times to this. No one can make her do something she doesn't want to do. First rule in the lifestyle, No Means No. If they don't understand that, move on.
Take your time with this. There are alot of emotions involved and jealousy and being insecure are some of them. Go slow and talk about it.