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iapr · 01-18-2009, 12:49 PM

Here's a few random thoughts and tidbits of info and then I'll address some of your actual questions.

- Your GF's current position is healthy and reasonable. If she enjoys the fantasy and discussion but wants to focus on the reality of your relationship, I think that is a healthy balance. Score one for her.

- As far as your position on swinging and kids, when we started swinging we had a toddler and a preschooler. Finding sitters is a pain but we love getting out for some grown up time and we look forward to our dates. Gotta news flash for you, parents are sexual beings too and it's not just the young and single folks that enjoy a good romp in the hay. No points for you.

Now as far as differentiating between if swinging will be a good thing or a bad thing. IMHO if you are both working together for the mutual benifit of your relationship and there is an equal balance of decision making power and you are acting in a sane, sober and responsible manner then how can it be bad? If one of you is doing it for your exclusive benifit without regard to the other person's interests then it will all come crashing down.

As far as her ex fuck buddy, BAD IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No actually it's not a bad idea, it's a TERRIBLE IDEA!!!!!! To save bandwidth lets just say there are lots and lots of reasons that is a terrible idea. If you want to swing as a couple do some research and find some real swingers to start with and go from there. If a few years down the road and you each know what your interests and limits are and you know how the game is played and you have exectional communication skills then maybe bringing in an old fuck buddy can work but DO NOT use him or any other friend, coworker, nieghbor or any other vanilla to be your cherry popper. Swing with swingers and keep your vanillas out of your bedroom.

As far as limits rules etc etc, discussing them is part of the process. Everyone will need to discuss their comfort levels and boundries, rules etc and they will change and evolve over time.

The actual rules are not as important as the discussions about the rules.

01-18-2009, 12:49 PM	#12 (permalink)
iapr Has Left the Building Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 832 Location: State of bliss Status: couple	Re: Doubts and More!!! Here's a few random thoughts and tidbits of info and then I'll address some of your actual questions. - Your GF's current position is healthy and reasonable. If she enjoys the fantasy and discussion but wants to focus on the reality of your relationship, I think that is a healthy balance. Score one for her. - As far as your position on swinging and kids, when we started swinging we had a toddler and a preschooler. Finding sitters is a pain but we love getting out for some grown up time and we look forward to our dates. Gotta news flash for you, parents are sexual beings too and it's not just the young and single folks that enjoy a good romp in the hay. No points for you. Now as far as differentiating between if swinging will be a good thing or a bad thing. IMHO if you are both working together for the mutual benifit of your relationship and there is an equal balance of decision making power and you are acting in a sane, sober and responsible manner then how can it be bad? If one of you is doing it for your exclusive benifit without regard to the other person's interests then it will all come crashing down. As far as her ex fuck buddy, BAD IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No actually it's not a bad idea, it's a TERRIBLE IDEA!!!!!! To save bandwidth lets just say there are lots and lots of reasons that is a terrible idea. If you want to swing as a couple do some research and find some real swingers to start with and go from there. If a few years down the road and you each know what your interests and limits are and you know how the game is played and you have exectional communication skills then maybe bringing in an old fuck buddy can work but DO NOT use him or any other friend, coworker, nieghbor or any other vanilla to be your cherry popper. Swing with swingers and keep your vanillas out of your bedroom. As far as limits rules etc etc, discussing them is part of the process. Everyone will need to discuss their comfort levels and boundries, rules etc and they will change and evolve over time. The actual rules are not as important as the discussions about the rules.