Quote:
Originally Posted by IvoryTowers 
Finally, at least in my (admitted limited) experience, most men in swinging won't be "aggressive" in any way, because they are very aware that they are having sex with a brand new partner, and someone else's wife to boot! They will ask permission, they will proceed gently, and they will look for cues from her. .
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This is another good point that will also be more of an issue than the oral. Most men we have encountered are very passive and will not take any initiative with a woman that is not at bare minimum showing an interest. No one wants to be that guy that gets labeled as "aggressive" and while there are men that will be ok with "doing all the work" (your words not mine) they will at least need a definative green light from her that all of his efforts and labors will be welcomed and appreciated.
In the swinging world it is typically the females that are the initiators and the ones to get things going both socially as well as sexually. If she is just a bump on a log this may be kind of a long rough road for you. If you are the one that is doing all the talking and setting everything up, people will think that you are just trying to use her as bait so you can score and that it is all about you and that won't go over very well at all.
Put yourself in the other couples shoes, you are in a club full of people and the other women are sexually adventurous and assertive and are willing to take some initiative to pursue what they want. Are you going to want to party with them or are you going to want to party with a couple where the female half is appearing to be sexually inert and uninterested and unwilling to discuss any sexual topics or lift a finger to make anything happen. Who are you going to want to play with?
I'm not saying that to be meanspirited or to put anyone down, but I agree with Chicup, in order to get anything out of swinging you do need to be somewhat sexually oriented and responsive.